C-Suite level poets

Being a resume for a different type of C-suite position in corporate America (if they'll have me ;-D)

I’m currently living off the fumes
of unemployment checks, driving
around the Western suburbs, as
my Impala purrs to the brassy beat
of the 60s Green Hornet soundtrack,
wondering what’s my next move, 
what am I going to do with 
the song of myself?

The only business 
I’m concerned about today
is my IS-ness.
It’s my way
of ensuring
my mental fitness.

There’s no ROI high enough to put on that kind of business.

I’ve been an office slave far too long,
hoping to please everyone with 
my personality’s obedient song.

A sort of Orpheus whose music was 
plucking on computer keyboards,
the roar of commuter trains, and the
impatient car horns of downtown Chicago.
Instead of the music of my soul, 
looking into every face 
to see what the Universe 
reflects back to me.

My IS-ness is the only business
I’m truly qualified for.
Prosperity for all… patience, 
kindness, understanding,
a little teasing humor
and goodwill…
all these are my IS-ness.

Let’s see? 
What kind of C-suite roles 
can a C-sweet soul like me 
hang his shingle out for?

There’s CPO – No, not Chief Petty Officer,
who guilts you over an email 
you shouldn’t have sent.
But rather, Chief Possibility Officer
who sees the best in you and can
envision an exciting career
that would make you happy
and use the unique gifts and talents
which God gave you to unpack.
If your life’s stuck in neutral
we can brainstorm ways 
you can dig out your life
you never thought possible,
So you can leave all your old luggage
spinning forever in the carousel
of the baggage claim terminal of your past.

Or Chief Poetry Officer…?
If you need a quick break from mundanity,
I could beadazzle your cubicle 
with poetic quotes from 
ethereal heights, 
that outshine the frosted 
doom of fluorescent lights.

On second thought, nahhh, 
there’s not a big enough ROI.

Maybe a COO – Chief Opti-mystic Officer.
Always there to
help you look at
the sunny side of life;
the silver linings playbook
would be part of my benefits package
I’d hand out during the 
onboarding process.

And when 
the work starts
to bog you down,
or management decisions
make you cringe,
I can reset your soul 
with tales of magical demonstrations
to inspire you no matter what 
kind of hell you’re going through.

How about CSO – Chief Spiritual Officer?
What, with my embroidered cowboy shirts,
amethyst bracelets, 
and calm demeanor,
I can chill you out.
My dulcet tones
can open a door
through which you
may glimpse a new future 
you never thought possible.

Perhaps CMO – Chief Meditation Officer?
I can show you how 
to lower your
brain waves 
from Beta, 
to Alpha, 
to Theta
and you’ll coast
through 100 emails in 
air conditioned bliss.

And then there’s CIO – Chief Imagination Officer?
Where I show you how
to manifest anything you want,
(even a better job than the 
foxhole cubicle you’re in now.) 
A new house,
a car, 
maybe even the love of your life.
It’s one of my superpowers that makes 
for dubious water cooler conversation.

Mind you,
I won’t require a CEOs salary at the outset.
And I won’t
ruin your company
by slashing the employee base
so I can buy myself a horse
(like an ex boss did once).
Just enough bennies and flexibility 
to keep myself in poetry,
create inspirational videos;
an occasional exotic vacation
to a faraway location, 
maybe fit in a Dr. Joe 
workshop meditation 
where I can finally 
go inter-dimensional.

Anyone interested?
Anyone?!
Buehler…?

That’s ok.

Being alive on planet Earth is the toughest job in the cosmos,
where all the alphabetters gotta stick their noses up
in your business.

As for today, 
I’m contemplating
The business of my IS-ness
which is nobody’s business
but my own.

And when my IS-ness
is through with its business
here on prison planet earth,
there’ll be another dimension
where my IS-ness will fizz 
into the All-That-IS,
in a realm where its employees 
will throw the biggest celestial office party
to celebrate my new role of CEO…

Celestially
Experiencing
Oneness